Here’s what I want to say:
I hate being naïve.
I hate being a child
At the bottom of a stairwell
And I know I’m a child,
At the bottom of a stairwell,
But I want to feel powerful too.
I read that as: synonymous:
Taste what it’s like to be cruel.
I had a wet dream
About wielding my organs
In a way that would let me hurt someone.
I read that as: antonymous:
You are virgin of “Virgin Conqueror,”
You are third of “first love,”
You are victim of “child abuse”
If it even was “child abuse,”
You are weak/you are low/you are wrong.
And I know that it’s shitty and you didn’t ask for
Co-opted pain to be my release
But I haven’t learned how to touch myself right
I haven’t learned how to love myself right
I thought that your words were so touching, alright?
And I made a mistake.